New Laws, Who Dis? | The Daily Show
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New Laws, Who Dis? | The Daily Show


It’s a new year
which means many laws that were passed last year
are now going into effect. So tonight, we’re gonna take
a look at some of the laws you need to know about
in our ongoing segment, “New Laws, Who Dis?” -♪ ♪
-(applause and cheering) First up– Arkansas. It’s one of the top 50 states
in America. (laughter) And now, a new law there is
shaking up the world of science. The Natural State is taking
a stance against human cloning. A new law in Arkansas bans public funding
for human cloning or destructive embryo research. The penalty– a class A
misdemeanor and $1,000 fine. Oh. Sorry, people of Arkansas. New year, no new you.
That’s right. If you try to do human cloning
in Arkansas, you will face a $1,000 fine. Which doesn’t seem like enough
to stop someone from doing it. I’m not gonna lie. Like, I don’t know if there’s
a mad scientist somewhere who’s like, “My clone army
will take over the world! “Wait. A thousand dollars?
Mah! Forget it! I’ll go back to the carwash.” For real, $1,000 is not much
of a fine to get a clone. Like, especially
if you can just split the fine with your clone.
Then it’s half. You know
who I really feel bad for? All the twins in Arkansas. Yeah. ‘Cause the cops are gonna be
stopping them all the time like, “We don’t take
to clones around here.” It’s like,
“No, we were born this way.” “Prove it.
Describe your Mom’s vagina.” (laughter, groaning) But the new laws
of 2020 aren’t just about what you can do
with your body. Some of them are also about
what you are putting into it. On New Year’s Day, the FDA’s new nutritional
labeling rules kicked in, launching a host of changes
to the way that manufacturers are required
to label packaged foods. One of the biggest changes that you’ll notice requires
large food manufacturers to list two different columns on the nutrition labels
for their products. So one listing the nutrition
facts for a single serving, the other new label listing
the nutrition facts -for the entire package.
-WOMAN 2: Ah. -WOMAN: So think, bag of chips,
pint of ice cream. -Mm. Anything not good
for that New Year’s resolution. -Yes. Yes.
-(laughter, applause) Thank you. Thank you. This has been pissing me off
for so long. How you gonna put the serving, and then the bag
is another serving? Like, I picked up
a bag of chips, and it’s, like, 100 calories.
I’m like, “Oh, that’s great.” Then after I eat the bag,
I look back. It’s, like,
five servings per bag. What the hell! Why would you put
five servings into one bag? What, you think I’m gonna call
four of my friends, like, “You guys want to come over?
I’ve got a bag of chips!” (laughter) But even with the new label, a lot of people don’t even
understand what calories mean. So I think they need to give us
practical information, you know, like how much
your tummy will hurt after you eat the food. Yeah. How many pimples
you’ll get the next day. Maybe, like, a scratch-and-sniff
label to let you know how your farts will smell
after you eat the food. Yeah? So you can be like… (sniffs)
“Oh, Goddam! Yeah, I’m still gonna eat them.” I do like having
the information, though. I won’t lie. In fact, I wish they did it
for more than just food. Wouldn’t it be great
if people came with warning labels
with nutrition, yeah? So you knew
what you were getting into when you meet someone. Be like, “Wow.
Two servings of douchebag. “Okay, okay.
Well, I can work with that. I can work with it.” (applause and cheering) And finally, while the FDA is
working to be more transparent, New Jersey has a new law allowing some things
to stay private. MAN: 18 new laws go into effect
in New Jersey this year. One of the most talked about is
a law barring employers from using salary history
to screen potential workers. The bill’s sponsor says
employers were previously able
to ask about salary history, which they argue
perpetuated a wage gap that favored men over women. Okay, now
this is actually a great law. Because, you see, before this, instead of paying people
based on the work, some employers
were underpaying people based
on their previous earnings, which was suppressing,
especially women’s wages. If you don’t get paid well,
you go to the next job. They’re like,
“How much were you paid? We’ll pay you the same,
but a little bit more.” The wage gap just continued
to grow. But now,
bosses can’t ask that question. I bet they’re gonna find ways
to try, though, you know? Yeah,
they’re just gonna be like, “So, uh, when you watch Hulu,
do you have ads?” (laughter) “Okay. No? Okay, okay, okay. Can you start on Monday? Okay.” So hopefully, this new law
will help a lot of people, because your past salary
shouldn’t determine what you get in the future. I mean, imagine if that happened
with other things in life. Like, when you get
into a new relationship, they negotiate based
on your previous one, you know? You’d be like, “So my ex only
lasted two minutes in bed.” Be like, “Okay, well, great. “Uh, I’ll bump that up
to three and a half. Is that good? Yeah?”

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