Advice for separating parents from the solicitors at Woolley & Co

Rebecca Franklin: “Take a deep breath before
you respond to a text message or to an email and just have a think about what your child
would like to do, would your child like to see their mother or father? Try and put the
children first, so many times I have had clients say to me, Rebecca I was going to respond
angrily to a request for contact or to a text message that upset me, but I took a deep breath
and thought no, what would Rebecca like me to do.” Kate Brooks: “Sit the children down if at
all possible, if you can do it together even better. From the start of the process let
them know what’s going on but concentrate on trying to think what might be best for
the kids and you won’t go too far wrong. “ Richard England: “The children need to understand
that it isn’t their fault, I think it’s crucial that the children understand that
because otherwise the danger is that they blame themselves and that has a negative impact
on how they deal with the divorce or separation process.” Liz Davies: “I think the most important
advice I give to parents all the time is that they have to remember that they are the adults
in the situation. Try not to involve the children too much in the proceedings, I am aware that
obviously the older the children are the more that they are aware of what’s going on in
their surroundings but a lot of parents do tend to forget that the children are not their
confidants they shouldn’t be discussing absolutely everything with them, it’s not
fair on the children to be put under that burden.” Tamara Glanvill: “I think first of all – keep
the children centre stage. It’s very easy when you are divorcing to only think of your
own position and your own concerns and your own anxieties. I think the minute people do
think about how it is going to impact the children they do adopt a slightly different
position so they become more amenable to one another, they recognise the need to work together,
to a common goal and it creates some form of agreement and once they have got one agreement,
other things can flow from that.” Abby Smith: “It’s very important that
they involve the children as much as possible in some of the discussions to make sure that,
not telling them the adult issues, but making sure that they are not scared because a lot
of research shows that children who don’t understand or don’t know what’s happening
are more scared of the unknown.” Kate Butler: “I think the important thing
for parents to remember is that their child is the product of both of them and how they
handle their dispute and their fall out is going to meld the way that their child develops
into an adult in the future so it’s really important to keep their interests in the forefront
of their minds at all times.”

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